Developing a new resource to help support adoptive families caring for brothers and sisters
20 years ago, in 2004, I became the adoptive parent of two beautiful, boisterous brothers aged one and three. Little did I know back then the steep learning curve that we would all be on for the last two decades. It has been a joy and a privilege to parent these boys, now men, but it has also at times been a white-knuckle ride for us all as we navigate our way through family life. I hope they have forgiven me for some of the mistakes I’ve made as well as having had some fun along the way!
Like lots of adoptive parents I’ve become pretty skilled at finding the latest resources and the best people to help us with whatever stage of family life we’ve reached whether that’s a great evidence-led parenting book, organisations like Adoption UK or other adoptive parents who are one step ahead of us in their journey.
Parenting is always important and never straightforward, but parenting care experienced siblings can bring additional challenges and considerations. From my work as a researcher, educator and volunteer involved in protecting and promoting the rights of care experienced brothers and sisters, I know the challenges can be varied and can include children missing siblings they don’t live with or aren’t in touch with, worrying about siblings who are cared for elsewhere, and finding it difficult to get information about their brothers and sisters. Where children live with siblings (whether biological, legal or social), they may experience tense or volatile relationships with their brothers and/or sisters, fear rejection in family relationships, or feel overwhelmed by the expectations placed on them by their siblings, parents, teachers and others. Support for them, their parents and other family members is crucial for children to flourish.
A new resource to help support adoptive families
In recognition of the importance of parenting care experienced siblings, I’ve been working with Adoption UK Scotland and the Association for Fostering, Kinship and Adoption Scotland (AFKA) to develop a new resource designed for adoptive parents, foster carers and kinship carers who are parenting siblings. This was made possible through funding from The Promise Partnership and the resource comes in the format of a Padlet, a digital platform where you can house information and resources. It brings together into one place a range of topics that families and professionals may need to engage with at different points when supporting sibling relationships, and was developed with input from adoptive parents, foster carers and kinship carers, colleagues in the Adoption UK PATH service, AFKA, The Fostering Network, Scottish Adoption Register and Kibble. The resource is in two parts and divided into bite-sized chunks of information organised around key themes. The first section focuses on understanding care experienced brothers and sisters, including why the sibling bond is important, tips to enable relationships to flourish, and fostering a sense of belonging. The second section looks at how to protect sibling relationships when children experience distress and offers help to think about different parenting approaches and the importance of reflection and self-care. As well as introducing these key themes and ideas, the resource also includes links to further reading, personal testimonies, real-life examples from children, parents and carers, and practical strategies that families can try out together.
The main target audience for the resource is adoptive parents and foster and kinship carers at whatever stage in their journey they may be, but our hope is that it will also be of interest to practitioners supporting children and families. In enabling families and professionals to develop a shared language and understanding, we can all work in partnership to support brothers and sisters.
Read Section one of the resource
Read Section two of the resource
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